Category: Parent Talk
I've kind of alluded to this elsewhere on here, but now the daughter is graduated early, and so wants to move out with friends. I never knew such a mixing of emotions could be happening all at the same time.
As parents we think this will be a big deal for them, and have no idea it will be this much of a big deal for us. There are a lot of sides to it: both excitement for her launching out and spreading her wings, trying new things, stuff like that, and I admit I do kick it a bit old school in the protect-your-baby-girl department.
I've always embraced her launching out and doing things, though. It's just a more of a maze of emotion than I usually deal with.
aww, leo, I can certainly understand where you're coming from But at the same time, being just a few years older than your daughter (I'm 22), I vividly remember that age, moving out, going to college. Every parent goes through the empty nest syndrome, I'm sure. Every good parent, that is. In fact, if you didn't feel the symptoms of the empty nest, I'd be wondering...The fact that you feel a mix of emotions just attests to you being a good, nurturing and supportive father who has a decent bond with his little girl. Keep your head up and rely on us here to kill some time and obtain support. Good luck to your little girl, and to you as her dad.
as I've said before, congrats to you on a job well done. remember that we're here for you, and will do the best we can to make you laugh, smile, and anything else friends can do from afar. *hugs*.
Wow, fun times. congrats on her early graduation and independent streak. I have absolutely zero words of wisdome as I haven't gone through this from the parental side but am happy to listen. What in the world are you and the wife going to do with yourselves?
She'll do great though as it sounds like she's had really great role models.
I've spent so much time away from family that things like going to the center and moving out for college weren't as much of a big deal as they would be for strong bonded families. I went to camps for weeks over the summer when I was a kid, and I can't tell you how happy I was to get away from the instability. However, with that said, I've realized how benefitial family can be. If things happen, they can help you out. That's why if I settle down with someone and we decide to have a family, it won't be a light subject. In other words, we'll have to both be sure we will be committed to each other and the well being of our kids. I want to be a good father, as you were for your daughter so I can see my sons/daughters perform in sports or bands, graduate, go to college, get a job they enjoy, and make their own families. I know it won't be easy, and I know all families have their own problems, but serious ones can be prevented. Congradulations to you and your daughter, and I wish you both as well as your wife the best of luck.
awww leo, congratulations! Best of luck to you and your daughter; she's very lucky to have you as a father. :)
The title of this post should have been daddy preparing for his baby girl to leave the nest. Smile.
*pats that daddy on the back.
You'll make it dude. I promise.
Yeah, how's Mrs. Leo holding up?
Thanks guys. Yeah she is doing good with this stuff. We have both mainly struggled with different types of things as it happpens with two people experiencing the same situation.
We're doing things right, at least by today's standards anyway: I started in with the Coast Guard a couple years ago now and she was working on her writing. Now she had to take a job but will return to the writing once she's gotten used to her job situation and all. We're both looking forward to the move ourselves, when we move back into the city. First time since the baby was born that we selected a place mainly for ourselves. Of course with a room for her but mainly we'll be selecting a spot for us. That is kind of exciting to think about to be honest.
Interesting Ryan what you said about the summer camps and things. The daughter for the past few years has been gone for weeks at a time during the summers, which we took to be a bit of practice. But then, you knew she was coming back. Well, even though she's not moved out yet, she is gone most of the time now. It's the little things you get to missing: the sound of her voice, even her feet padding around the place, or the sounds that accompany a teenager foraging for food or digging through bags looking for things.
I definitely have been looking forward to the more adult aspects though: where our relationship is more adult than parent-child. I mean, we're always the parents of course, but believe it or not, kids, if you think the micromanaging that happens is a pain in your ass, it's a pain in the parents' ass also. Not that we've done overly much of that, but you got to some, at least, in order to know what's going on.
One more thing I'll add: To those who say they haven't been there yet? As though they cannot speak to us that are there? That is utter crap. You all have given me more encouragement and support than I could have imagined or dared ask for. I can only hope someday you'll know and feel the full effects of it. Things that are mixed up like this are often the hardest for me.
I have appreciated you all, and also I posted something similar to this on my Facebook where I got some helpful responses. Some of my fellow shipmates have gone through this recently also which helps. So anyway, I just wanted to say to people who say they can't say anything because they haven't been there? Yeah, you can, and it has helped a lot, and I for one appreciate it.
Yeah, it's rather annoying when people think it isn't a person's place to express their opinions about something if they haven't experienced it firsthand. While it is a nice bonus to have experience, going off of your opinions is something that everyone does naturally. Everyone is differently vocal about it. Some articulate it and are not afraid to express it, while others keep more to themselves. Plus, you may be wrong when it comes to certain topics, and how else would you learn unless you put your ideas out there, and other people evaluate it? I'm sure that will also be a good lesson your daughter will learn, if she hasn't all ready. Everyday consists of decisions, and only one person makes the choice of what to do. Then, there are consequences for what he/she decides, and from there he/she will know what to say, or do, the next time. Hopefully.
Congratulations Leo! Another milestone is added to you and your wife's lives... successfully raise a well-rounded, and smart young lady. Good luck with the move.
So just when I think I'm prepared for things, Baby calls me during the day to ask about addresses and information, saying they have found an apartment. Again, what I am saying doesn't make logical sense: she has been staying with a friend now as it's close to her new job, and only comes home for two days out of the week. And the wife and I have enjoyed the house and the ability to do what we want and all of that that comes with freedom. But it really pulled on me somehow that she is doing this. Of course I'm glad to see her taking steps, and being reasonable with costs and all, and having fun which at their age they should. But it surprised me how it affected me about the apartment thing. I guess that sort of makes it all official. Anyway that is the latest update.
But what's cool is though she is gone most of the time now, when she's around, she's quite the chirpy chick, wants to talk and be with us and all. I don't know if I'm making that much sense, anyway that's where it's at with me now.
Leo,
Congrats to you.
I am curious as to my parents reactions to an empty nest, since we are pretty close (though they aren't the kind of probing parents who micromanage absolutely aeverything)
I'm glad all is well with you, and though we have not met, but if your writing style is anything like your personality, it is evident that your daughter will fare well.
Good luck to you and the rest of your family.
Ahh, , that first real address, real phone number, and utility bill in her own name. Yep, sounds like it's official. Woo, glad it's you and not me, man. lol
It's so bitter sweet, isn't it?
Just whatever you do, for God's sake, don't replace her with a dog. That's what my mom did. lol She got a Laso Apso, or how ever TF you spell that and that dog was an evil bitch. lol
All kidding aside, congrats to you and the wife and best wishes for big baby girl. lol They'll always be our babies, won't they?
Thanks Matt and Goddess, yeah you right about that. The wife may someday get a cat, but I am not getting a dog, not even birds which are my pets of choice. Now that I will be having a taste of the freedom, why chain myself down with something else? I say. Rather I would be spending time with the baby girl as she wants to, and getting involved in doing other things now.
Thanks for your support all: you'll never know how much this means.
Congratulations Leo. I know it is a big change so I understand that. Having not gone through it myself I don't know what you are going through but I am there for you. I do know that you are a great father and role model and she will be just fine. She will always turn to you and be your little girl. I wish you and her the best.
Thank you sir. Most appreciated.
Awww, I can see how you'd be happy and sad at the same time. When I was in Texas for a month last year and thinking I'd be moving, I talked to Mom every day. Before then, if I went on trips, there would be days between phone calls. I guess I did it because I could. I guess that sounds mean, but thankfully I grew up. I remember Mom sending me some medicine for Whitney and an iTunes gift card I'd left at home in a package. However, she also sent a pack of M & Ms and a note that said "I love you," in braille. What was funny was she misspelled something, but it didn't matter. I cried like a baby eating those M & Ms because I realized that she was always thinking about me. I told Mom and Dad they had to get a dog when I left, and I think they're going to. They've gotten used Whitney, I think they're going to be sad to see her go.
Hi,
Congrats to you. I don’t’ see why you couldn’t get a bird, though. I have one who’s very independent. It all depends on the bird. I have a ‘Tiel and love it cause I can leave him for a few days with enough food and water to last him. He’s excited to see me when I get back and happy to play with and take showers with me, but when I’m gone, he’s all right, too. So long as I give him an hour or two every few days, he’s fine. To me, it’s the right amount of responsibility. Anyway, congrats to you and your wife and to your daughter. That’s awesome your daughter wants to hang out with you and spend time with you both, when she’s home. If I’d had parents I could have done that with ten years ago, I definitely would have.
Take Care,
Dawnielle
Oh I have had enough birds in my time to get one I wanted which would be another Canary in my case. I simply don't want the cage-cleaning hassle, but being blind I guess I was a bit OCD on that front since they poop on everything they can. Not doing the pet thing, plus I live in songbird country, so I can always put out feeders.
That works.
So it's been a long time:
Instead of a pet I got a ukulele and have been taking up playing an instrument again. The daughter comes by every week or several, probably more often once we ourselves get moved into the city. Looks like that will happen in a month or so (hopefully), we just got dealt a setback this summer which has been bested.
It is really pleasant to have adult conversations with your child. Only once was there any of the old teenage drama and that was more being upset about some of her deadlines she'd been putting off. And that was just once in nine months or however long it's been.
She doesn't call or text either of us that often, not like some kids who do every day or so. Maybe once a week she'll call mainly her mom. And they got themselves a cat, she and the friend, which they seem to be enjoying.
I know it's tough when you don't get a lot of texts or phone calls, but it's good that she comes by a lot. I'm in my second year of university, and in my first year I admit I didn't call/text my parents half as much as they'd like. They got really upset with me though, and that only made things worse. In the past few months, though, they've really eased off the pressure, and since I've been away from home for a little over a year now, I find I miss them a lot more and actively want to call them more often. Given enough time, she'll get in touch more, I can just about guarantee it.
Yay! I'm glad to hear she's doing so well. I expected nothing less but hey, it's still nice when it turns out like you expect, huh.
Thanks guys.